Breaking of the Shell
by The Gong O Doom
Summary: Eric and Tami talk about Smash and Tim Riggins and Tami visits Tim in prison and talks about the past and his future.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: ** Originally this was just one chapter about Tami visiting Tim in prison but after thinking about some fairly creepy stuff I wrote another chapter about Tami and Eric talking about Smash and Tim and it worked around to Tami's thinking about visiting him in prison. So another chapter and what was chapter 1 is now chapter 2. But there won't be a chapter 3. As usual your searing hatred and frothing love is demanded in your reviews so chop-chop get to reading and reviewing!

* * *

"**Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding."**

**-Khalil Gibran**

* * *

Eric and Tami sat at a table at the Alamo Freeze. Tami glanced at the picture on the wall of Smash wearing a long sleeved shirt and a tie and smiled.

"What's funny?"

"Not funny, just that picture of Smash. Tell me the truth, you were prouder of him for what he did when he worked here than what he did on the football field."

Eric grimaced. "I—now I don't honestly know. Football is his way out; it's the way out for his family."

"And what if he blows out his knee again? Or blows out the other one? A&M didn't guarantee his scholarship if he gets injured. It's year to year, right?"

"Just about every athletic scholarship is these days, that whole four year ride thing was never really true. If he'd gone to Abilene State, and got hurt they'd have kept his scholarship going, Grady promised that, and he doesn't go back on that sort of thing. I've kept in touch with him, and even though he was disappointed that Smash didn't come there, he understands why. A&M's profile is exponentially higher and with his knee, Smash is gonna need to show he can play and be better than the best, rather than running roughshod over the lower quality of players that Abilene faces if he wants to be a high draft pick in the NFL. The NFL is his family's ticket out."

Tami frowned. "Have you talked with his mom about this?"

"Lately? No. I've seen her a few times at the grocery store and we've chatted, but you know it's more of a 'how are you doing' than anything else."

"Well, you do know that the owner was looking to promote Smash. Give him a signing bonus of two thousand dollars and use of a car."

"No. I didn't know that. But it's not because I don't care about Smash, it's because I was coaching my team and calling around to college coaches talking up Smash and trying to call in some favors and ask for favors, just ten minutes for them to take a look at him. And I was taking time to help him workout."

"Which he quit because you were pushing him so hard."

"C'mon now. A big part of that was him being afraid that he'd hurt his knee if he got hit. He was fine after I had him come out that night and run against the team. Are you tryin' to say that I would have been disappointed if he had stayed at the Alamo Freeze?"

"I did get that feeling. I never heard you say anything to him about how good a job he was doing there."

"That's because I didn't have any idea. When we went there, we always got the food to go, and Julie'd run in so she could spend time with Matt. Why are you upset with me about this? Smash is doing great at A&M. He's starting, he's made Dean's List the last two semesters, he's staying out of trouble-okay most trouble, he's been to some parties, but hasn't gotten in any fights, bar or otherwise. He's doing fine."

"But you don't think if he had stayed at the Alamo Freeze that he would have been able to in your words, 'get the family out."

"I think that it would be harder and take more time than being drafted and playing in the NFL, but if he does get hurt you know I'm gonna call up and see what I can do to keep his scholarship going."

Tami sighed. "How many of the players you've coached have made it to the NFL?"

"None so far."

"How many do you think will make it or have a chance?"

"Smash has more than a chance. Jason would have, in fact I'd say that given he's representing a couple of players he has made it." Eric frowned and shook his head. "I'd like to say Voodoo and JD McCoy, but I'm afraid those wells were poisoned. Voodoo's mouth and attitude were gonna get him into trouble, at a club or with a coach, and Joe McCoy pretty much ruined JD's chances."

"You couldn't reach them."

"I couldn't reach Voodoo. JD, I reached him, but then-" Eric waved his hand. "So, who do you really want to talk about?"

"What do you mean?"

"C'mon now, Tami, you know I care and worry about Smash. I worry about all my players and former players, some more than others, but I do have to spend time coaching and doing coach type things and being a father and husband."

"Tim Riggins."

"I went and talked with him last week."

"And how was that?"

"For him or me?"

Tami shrugged. "Both of you."

Eric bit into his cheeseburger, chewed and swallowed. "I hate it. I hate that he's in there. I hate why he's in there. I hate that I let him get away with so much. He looks-he looks like he's shrunk. I know he's been in some fights in there, got some bruises and cuts on his face and hands."

"Why do you hate letting him get away with things? Like what? Cutting classes, skipping practice?"

"All of it."

"Well, why didn't you do something about it besides come to me and make me get Landry to tutor him?"

"Because it wouldn't have done any good. If he'd done what Matt did and I'd dragged Tim into the bathtub and turned the shower on him, it wouldn't have done any good. Billy would just have laughed at him and teased him, then the two of them would wreck their house even more fighting and I'd probably have to go to the ER tryin' to stop it. I-I mean I know that not all of my boys are going to do great things or have great lives or great or even good jobs, but I can only do so much. I'm a head football coach, and right now that means I'm working over sixty hours a week on coaching and stuff related, fixing equipment, making sure the field is in decent shape, trying to keep on top of my players, that they're going to class, not getting arrested."

"When you were at Dillon you worked almost as many hours a week."

"It's different. There was a lot more time spent dealing with Buddy and the boosters mostly Buddy, I never actually had to get out and work on the field." Eric sucked some of his shake into a straw. "Tim isn't doing well. He doesn't say it; I don't think he'd ever say it to me. I am worried about him."

"Worried that he's gonna die in there?"

"No. Do you think he's gonna get shanked or jumped? Tim has a smart mouth but he mostly knows when to shut it and inside prison is where you keep it shut."

Tami dabbed a few French fires in ketchup and chewed on them. "No, like you said, he's smart enough to know when to keep his mouth shut; usually it's someone else who puts him up to it, like Billy or their dad. I am worried about what's gonna happen when he gets out. You haven't mentioned anything about his plans."

"Only thing I know is that he can't go near Riggins Rigs or any car dealership or gas station or auto repair shop looking for a job for two years. That's how long his probation is. I don't know if he living with Billy and Mindy doesn't violate his parole."

"What about having him live with us?"

A horrified look quickly flashed across Eric's face. "You have got to be kidding me. You can't have forgotten what happened the last time Tim Riggins stayed here."

"You mean, him taking Julie to a party and bringing her home drunk and then you taking something entirely out of context and steamrolling over Tim and your daughter when they tried to explain and falsely accusing Julie of lying to you? I certainly do remember. And I wasn't thrilled by Julie getting drunk, but I also know that Tim saved her from possibly getting assaulted or raped. He would never try anything with Julie. He looks at her like a little sister. And he respects you too much, even though he'll show up drunk to practice.

"All of that aside, I don't think it's the worst idea. It'd just be the four of us. Julie's at college an—"

"What about Shelly? She'd probably drop in and stay for three weeks just for the hell of it. Just to aggravate me."

"As a matter of fact, Shelly is taking a couple of classes and the fellow she's been seeing, well it's been six months and they're still together."

"A new record."

"Eric. Yes she teases you a bit too much, but you dig at her as well. Anyway, if Tim were staying with us, it'd provide some structure and that's something he needs."

Eric cupped his chin in his hand. "From what I've seen, structure and Tim Riggins do not work well together. I heard Matt talking to Julie last year and he was saying that one reason Tim quit college was too much structure, he had classes that he had to be on time for and if you were late or missed so many times you failed. And it wasn't like Dillon where I'd have a talk with you and you'd talk with him and the teacher or the teacher's look the other way. Mandatory study hall, which would have been really good for Tim, team meetings."

"Well, he's not playing football anymore so he wouldn't have to worry about team meetings or mandatory study halls. I'm talking about things like getting up the same time every morning, maybe taking Gracie to daycare or taking care of her once a week. Making sure he isn't getting drunk all day every day. Doing the laundry, maybe making dinner once a week. Chores and I'd pay him for it. Help you out with the team; maybe keep the field in shape, a little bit of structure. I'm not saying I want to do this, but it's been in my mind for a little while and I think we should talk about like we're doing now and think about it."

"Well, he has his land."

"So you want him to sleep in a tent on his land. Are you serious?"

"No, no I didn't say that or mean that, just that he has his land. He could sell it or part of it and have some money for an apartment."

"Which he would probably sit in all by himself and drink. Y'know, Tim has had it much harder than Smash. Corrinea has been a rock for Smash, Tim hasn't had anybody, but Billy and well, Billy is Billy. I'm not saying I want Tim to come and live with us, just that it's a possible option and one we should consider."

"Would you like me to bring it up the next time I go see him?"

"Actually I think I should do that."

"You want to go see him. In prison."

"I'm allowed to, right? I mean I don't have to ask your permission, do I?"

"No-"

"I know that Becky has been to see him as well as Mindy. I think he needs to have a talk with Counselor Tami Taylor about what is going to happen when he gets out and what his longer term plans are." Tami reached across the table and took Eric's hand. "You love all of your boys, and I think this particular boy needs our help right now, and for a while after he gets out of prison."


	2. Chapter 2

Tim sat in his usual place at one of the metal picnic tables, his eyes on the door that visitors came through. He was glad it was sunny and warm, not raining, because being outside talking with Coach Taylor or Becky he could almost but not quite fool himself into believing he wasn't in jail, that he and whoever was visiting him were at the park and had happened to see each other and were just chatting for a few minutes. Being inside and having a visitor, he really didn't like that. The tables were close together and the concrete walls bounced everyone's voices back and forth so you couldn't hear over the din, and there always seemed to be at least one baby or kid that was crying.

He didn't know who his visitor was, all the guard had said was, "Riggins you have a visitor." He hoped it wasn't Becky; he'd told her every time that she needed to be in school, not visiting him in jail. He would have liked to have seen Coach Taylor again, but he'd visited last week and Tim knew he was up to his head with football stuff and probably wouldn't be back until East Dillon's season was over, and Tim hoped he was out before then.

The door opened and Tami Taylor stepped through on the grass. He could see her searching the yard and then her eyes fell on him and she smiled and waved as she walked over to the bench. He stood up and shook her hand. "Hey Mrs. Taylor."

"Hey Tim." They both sat down, Tami taking a few moments to look around the yard.

"Not that I'm not happy to see you, but you're about the last person I expected, outside of maybe my dad. Thanks for coming to see me."

"You're welcome. I was going to come sooner but….Eric wasn't sure it was a good idea, that it could cause problems for you."

Tim smiled thinly, it didn't reach his eyes. "Problems. From the guards or the other inmates?"

"Both, maybe even the administration, but we thought it'd be the guards."

"Yeah, Becky keeps on coming, even though I know she's skipping school to do it. Even though she and Luke are going out I got the feeling she's still hanging a crush on me at least a little. A couple of the other inmates have said some stuff. I can handle it."

"You mean fighting."

"The official term is altercation. Yeah, a couple of fights, but I can hold my own."

"But stuff like that is a mark on your record right? And they can use it to deny you parole and keep you in here longer. Is that what you want?"

"What do you think?"

Tami sighed and pushed her hair back. "I think that I'm frustrated by you Tim. Maybe not as furious as I was when you lied to me about the _Scarlet Letter_ a few years ago, but its close."

"I'm sorry about that."

"You know what got me so angry about that? It was the combination of you sassing me and your obviously not giving a damn about your classes or the fact I had caught you. Because we both knew that I couldn't suspend you, all I could do was take you to the principal who talked about it with Eric, telling him a couple of times that there were some important games coming up and then I got the pleasure of finding a tutor for you, Landry Clarke and it turned out that he had to read all of _Of Mice and Men_ to you out loud. Do you realize how ridiculous that sounds and how much of a baby that makes you look like?"

Tim started to smirk, but stopped when he caught Tami's glare. "I did get a passing grade for that."

"That's what you're supposed to do. You aren't dumb, Tim. You aren't stupid. In some ways you're wise beyond you're years. In some ways….you're an old man. I just don't understand why you act like you're dumb all the time."

Tim looked away and said softly, "That's what people expect of me. That's what everyone expects of me. They think I'm a dumb football player who kept get passed along from one grade to the next because I was a pretty good football player." He looked at Tami. "And when I did do the work or make and effort no one took me seriously. No one believed I actually did the work. You know what happened when you got Landry to tutor me? He honestly thought I couldn't read. I thought he was just being a smart ass but he was serious." Tim shook his head and looked out at the fence. "That hurt, well I guess all of it hurt, people not expecting anything from me besides doing well on the football field, and then forgetting about me once we lost State my senior year."

"Eric didn't forget about you. Lyla didn't forget about you. Billy didn't forget about you. Billy made that highlight reel tape about you and showed it to Eric and he passed it on to some coaches. Lyla did a hell of a lot of work looking at colleges for you."

"I never asked them to do those things, or anything to do with college."

"Why not?"

"Because I didn't want to go. I've never wanted to go to college."

"Why?"

"Seriously? My grades were for shit." Tim shook his head. "Sorry about that. Even going to summer school wasn't gonna pull them up enough. I couldn't even have gotten into Texas, not if Tyra got waitlisted with her grades."

"Okay, but what were you gonna do with the rest of your life? I mean, you'd have had to get a job and a place to live, right? You seriously couldn't expect to just walk into the Alamo Freeze for the next sixty years and say, 'I'm Tim Riggins' and expect to have everyone kiss your hand and give you free meals. You think Buddy was just handed the ownership of his car dealership because he won State? He started out as salesman and he worked his butt off to be the best salesman, just like he worked his butt off to be the best football player at Dillon High."

"And he lost it."

"Yes he did. Because he made some dumb choices and did some things he shouldn't have done. And he's had to pick up the pieces and start over with his bar. Which is doing well, I've heard some whispering that he's looking to open another one and after that he's looking to get into the liquor distribution business."

'Yeah, but Buddy can talk anybody into anything. I can't do that."

"He does have a way with words, but Buddy also has a bunch of plans and schemes and connections. With him it's more a case of his setting something in motion and then he'd drag me or Eric into it when it was too late for it to be stopped.

"I'm not here to talk about Buddy Garrity, I'm here to talk to you and talk about you. You've had a lot of time in her to think and I hope you've used at least a little of that time to think about what you're gonna do when you get out."

"I have. I thought that I'd go back to Riggins Rigs, but I can't for eighteen months because of my probation. I thought about asking Coach Taylor if I could help coach, but I'm probably not gonna get out until the playoffs start so," he shrugged his shoulders.

"Tim."

"Yeah."

"You remember the banquet before we won State a few years ago, y'know where you got up and made your joke about Matt Saracen sleeping with Julie?"

Tim ran his hand over his face. "Yeah. Sorry about that too."

Tami smiled. "Hey, it's never too late to apologize. You remember what I said? That Coach Taylor cares about and loves all of his players, all of his boys? He does. He loves y'all and cares about you and worries about you. And he wants y'all to be happy and to be good, decent, respectful men. He wants y'all to be successful in whatever you choose to do. And he'll do what he can to help to achieve that. God knows enough of his boys have showed up on our doorstep at bedtime or past midnight, and he yeah, when you do that he's gonna be grumpy and probably all, '_You did what? Are you kidding me? What the hell were you thinkin'?_' And he's groused to me about it later, but he's always tried to sort things out and help as he can. And if the two of us can't do it we've wrangled Buddy in a few times." Tami looked around then reached over and took Tim's hand. "I'll admit you have frustrated and exasperated both of us, because we know what you're capable of, what you can do. And we've been frustrated because we care about you.

"You say you've never thought about college and that everyone pushed you into it. That's a fair complaint. Maybe it was you going away from Dillon. There's nothing shameful about being homesick. Even if you didn't really have a family back at home. Now I'm not saying you and Billy don't love each other, y'all have a fierce love and that's great. But you also know the other ones buttons and you push them way too much.

"Eric and I talked about this last week and we've both been thinking about it and I was wondering how you'd feel about living with us for a while after you get out. I know, you're probably going to go back to Billy and Mindy, but you might violate your probation or parole if you do that. I don't know for sure but you need to find out. If that is the case, it's possible that you could stay at our house. I'm not making an offer right now, this is something we've been talking and thinking about. The three of us would have to sit down together and talk it over."

"Staying at Casa de Taylor. I don't know the last time didn't work out so well."

"That is true, but that was a misunderstanding, and I think Eric apologized to you for how it ended."

"Yes ma'am. I—I don't know, I mean I don't have much money to pay rent and I'm not gonna stay there for free."

"No, but we would work something out. Maybe take Grace to daycare or babysit, maybe help out with the team. We could pay you to babysit, I don't know all the details, we'll figure it out if we get to that point.

"But I do think you need some structure in your life. Not a lot at first, but some. Getting up at the same time every morning. Doing laundry once a week. Things like that. If you're over at Billy's or at your own place I'm not sure that'll happen. Anyway, this is just a suggestion, I'm not gonna push it and push it, think about Dillon Community College. Just one class. Any class. Even weightlifting. Just something that puts a little bit of structure into your life, and I think you should pay for it."

"Why?"

"Because when you wake up and think about hitting the snooze button and skipping class you'll think that if you do that you're wasting twenty dollars or however much each class costs when you divide it up. And you can also reward yourself. At the end of every week you can go have a couple of beers."

Tim grinned. "I'll do that anyway."

"Yeah, the problem is that you're apt to do that in the middle of the week too. I'm not saying you can't enjoy yourself, but you need some discipline. And I know you don't like that."

"No, I-when I was at college, we had all these rules, you had to see the tutors so many hours a week and at specific times, you had to lift at a specific time, we had bed checks, where was the 'me' time? I mean, Coach had some rules too, but….it was different."

Tami laughed. "Actually, going away to college means it's pretty much all 'me' time, at least for most kids. You don't have mom and dad there to wake you up or take you to school or to make you eat well or to do your laundry. You have all the control over that. And it's scary. Because a lot of kids have never done laundry or made food or had to use an alarm clock. You've had to do some of those things for most of your life, but in a pretty slipshod way. You got away with a lot because if you did get in trouble, it wasn't your mom or dad they'd call, it was Billy and he'd yell at you but that was about it, not like you paid attention if he grounded you, right?"

"Nah, he took me along to some of the parties."

Tami rolled her eyes. "Okay, that's in the past and I do not want to hear about all of the things you did in high school that you weren't supposed to, I'd be here for four or five hours. Back to discipline. What I'm talking about is self-discipline. Because rather than me or Eric or Billy talking at you that you've wasted our money by not going to class, maybe you think about that twenty dollars and you go to class that day. And I think it'd be a good idea if you didn't tell Billy or anyone that you were taking a class, you can if you want, but maybe just let it be just for you."

Tim stood and walked to the fence, looking out at the grass and trees for a minute, then sat back down. "What if I can't pay for it? I mean even one class at Dillon has to cost a couple hundred dollars. And honestly I doubt if I could get a job anywhere when I get out."

"Why do you say that?"

"I've watched the news and I do read the newspaper and I've heard some of the conversations when I've been inside on visitor day. The economy is lousy and even college graduates are having trouble getting a job. The last person they're gonna look at is a convicted felon. Even for working a garbage truck."

Tami nodded. "It's a hard time right now, and you're right about people with a record having little luck getting work. But you do have people who will help you as much as we can to get a job. It might not be a job you like, you may even hate it, but I think it's fair to say you aren't gonna be able to pick and choose for quite a while. But Eric and I will help you. Buddy Garrity will help you. Billy and Mindy will help you. However, with Billy, if he starts making noise about you helping him at Riggins Rigs, you have to say no and tell him why. Tell him that you aren't going to violate your parole and come back here. And having a job you don't like is where that self-discipline comes in. Sometimes you have to grit your teeth and keep going. And you can also have that reward system I mentioned earlier. "

Tim ran his hand over the table. "I'll think about it. How're Jules and Gracie doing? Sorry I didn't ask earlier."

Tami smiled. "That's fine sugar. Julie is doing alright, I guess. I really didn't like her going off by herself to college, but I was settling in at East Dillon and Eric was busy planning for this season. She's got one TA that she likes, she said she knows more about football then he does. Gracie is growing."

"Does she still have that big ole head?"

"Tim, manners."

"Sorry."

"Yes, she does. The rest of her hasn't quite caught up yet."

"Have you heard from Seven lately?"

"Seven?"

"Saracen. Matt."

"Oh." Tami frowned. "I guess he's still in Chicago. Julie-Julie broke up with him last Thanksgiving, but I think they still email each other. I did see him with his mom at the grocery store last winter, in February I think."

The door to the yard opened and a guard came out. "Riggins, you got ten minutes."

"Yes sir." The door closed and Tim stood up. "I guess that's it for now. Thank you for coming, Mrs. Taylor and thanks for, y'know giving me some things to think about. Can I ask you a favor?"

"You may?"

"Do you think you could go over to Dillon College and get a handbook or whatever it is that has all the classes and costs and whatnot?"

"I'd be happy to. Would you like Eric to bring it next time he visits?"

"No, I'd rather you keep it. Probably get me in another altercation with some of the inmates feeling I'm getting too uppity thinking about college. I'd like to sit down with you and go over it and stuff."

"I'd be glad to. Tell you what you come over for dinner and we can look at it afterwards."

"Fair enough. Oh, one more thing. Can you please ask Coach not to come visit me anymore?"

"Why not? He does worry about you."

"I know that, it's just, this is the tough part of the season and we both know he doesn't need any more distractions than usual."

"Tim Riggins, you are not a distraction."

"Okay, an aggravation. Look, I appreciate it very, very much, more than you know, but I know it weighs on him, seeing me in here and I don't want to burden him anymore. I mean I certainly did more than my share when I was playing for him."

"I will talk to him, but we both know he'll probably show up anyway." Tami looked around the yard. "Is it okay if I hug you?"

Tim smiled and looked around. "I think so."

Tami put her arms around him and held him close. Tim could feel her thumb rubbing against his back. She whispered in his ear. "You take care of yourself."

"Yes ma'am."

**The End**


End file.
